Daily Practice and Dedication

Like any walk of life, be it art, music, business or martial arts, embarking on a spiritual path requires a degree of devotion. This does not mean that one must devote themselves entirely to one spiritual tradition, nor does it mean that the arcane arts ought to be one's primary focus, but a clear set of principles or rituals should be observed to consolidate the neophyte's Will and help focus their consciousness to form a stronger connection to themselves and the divine. In this article I will briefly outline the set of devotional practices which I have recently started and how my practice has changed as a result.

I am relatively new on my spiritual path; I have spent many years reading about Magick, about the various Gods and Goddesses of different traditions, about the plethora of different practices and rituals and many other things, but only within the last two or three years have a started actually trying to practice Magick and ritual myself. I began with 'sympathetic Magick', the use of correspondences to manifest intent in the world. This consisted of wearing specific colours to attract luck, strength, health etc. Then I began incorporating the use of symbols. After a pretty hair raising experience with a poltergeist I decided to acquire an amulet or talisman. at that time I didn't know what would or would not work for me so I settled for a simple cross. This successfully protected me from further harm because I put my faith in the symbol, at least for a time. For over a year this was the extent of my practical application of Magick until I began divinatory practices, tarot cards, fire and mirror scrying etc. In all that time I had no set practice to connect to the Gods, simply calling on them in prayer in times of need. I felt rather lost and disconnected, unable to truly understand the deities I was invoking, and this had a knock on affect on all of my other minor Magicks as well; I could not concentrate during my scrying sessions (which were few and far between), nor could I properly interpret the tarot, and my prayers seemed to go out into nothingness. I began to lose faith in what I was doing, wondering if I had been doing it wrong the whole time. This was not the case.

After my wife and I began conducting rituals for the Celtic Sabbats, I started thinking about doing ritual more frequently. It was only after a friend of ours, who had started on his spiritual path a good time after we did, began praying and meditating every morning, that I decided to devote myself to a fixed daily practice. "Great!" I thought, "I've resolved to do something every day... but what exactly should I do?" My answer came in part from an Apprentice Vitki (Norse Sorcerer), Asbjorn Torvol, who began to post videos and images online of the rituals he was conducting on a daily basis. Though his practice seemed to be specific to the Nordic traditions, I was still inspired and was able to look to the various faiths I was most drawn to and borrowed elements from each of them which resonated with me.

As I live in Britain, I find that the two most common denominations of Paganism are Wicca and Norse Heathenism, so a large part of my practice is made up from these two traditions. From my research into the origins of Christian mysticism I became drawn to the Greek and Roman pagan faiths, so there is also a strong element of this in my practice also. Finally, there are hints of Buddhist and Vedic traditions thrown in. Over all, the largest contributor to my daily practice is Native American Shamanism, though this appears to have found its way into my practice without me intending for it to do so.

To begin my daily dedication I rise at dawn (whenever possible, and as close to it when I can not), for I feel it is important to align ourselves with the natural rhythms of the Earth and the Heavens. By rising at dawn I rise with the sun, and so I emulate and embody the sun in that one act. Next I venture outdoors, no matter the weather; being in the open air is extremely stimulating, especially when it is laced with winter chill, for it clears the airways of the body and supplies clean, fresh air to the bloodstream which increases brain function. The Wicca tradition, as well as the Native American practices demonstrate that by standing barefoot on grass or soil, we form a strong energetic bond to the Earth herself, being infused with that life-giving energy and consequently healing our bodies on a molecular and energetic level. Some studies have also shown that toxins are released from the body through glands in the soles of the feet, so standing barefoot on grass or soil helps to draw these toxins out where they are absorbed into the ground to provide nutrients. This natural detox method has been prevalent in tribal traditions across the world for centuries, so this is a constant theme in my dedication work. The downside to this practice is exposure; I performed my first dedication on the morning of Yule, and that morning we received the first winter frost and the ground became heavily frozen, yet I endeavoured to brave the elements and go barefoot anyway. I was advised not to do this to avoid getting ill, and I agree with this sentiment and would urge people to avoid exposing themselves to harm or illness, however I have a higher tolerance of the cold and a stronger immune system than most people I know, so I felt that I needn't worry about this.

I had set the alarm for 7am, and I awoke with bleary eyes and an aching head. The sky was deep blue with the first hints of dawn, and as I lay there trying to shift the haze from my mind, I remembered why I had chosen to rise so early. I rolled from my bed and fumbled for my thick woolen robe, then made my way into my front garden. The grass was as white as if it had snowed the previous night, but it was instead a harsh frost which had penetrated deep into the soil. The air was bitter against my ears, but the robe kept me warm. I strode across to the middle of the lawn, but within seconds my feet became numb and started to ache from the cold, so I hopped back into the porch, shaking my legs to restore feeling to my frozen extremities. After a couple of minutes I steeled myself and tried again with the same outcome. Another couple of minutes passed as I shook the blood into my feet, and I decided to try standing at the edge of the lawn where the grass was not as long, but somehow the paving slabs felt colder than they had previously and I was forced back inside before I even reached the lawn. I began to lose hope that I would be able to commit to what I had planned, but something inside me compelled me to try one more time, to not give up so easily; I knew that the sudden arrival of the frost the previous night must have been sent by the Gods as a test of my Will and determination. So out I went, running across the driveway and across the lawn to the centre where I planted my feet firmly and closed my eyes. At first I felt the sharpness of the frost on my skin, then the creeping numbness start to spread into my toes, but within a few seconds I began to feel a different sensation; warmth. As I stood there, eyes closed with my hands clasped forming an upward pointing triangle, I began to feel like my feet were becoming part of the grass on which I stood, as if merging with it, and as the feeling grew in intensity it was coupled with an inexplicable warmth spreading up from the ground and into the soles of my feet. This warmth then spread up through my ankles, past my knees until it reached my pelvis. At this point my inner vision was flooded with deep red. I began to focus on my breathing, measured and even, and after a moment I felt a tingling at the base of my spine as the red light behind my eyes grew more intense. I continued to focus on my breathing, allowing the red light behind my eyes to lighten to orange, then to yellow, and through all of the colours of the spectrum, feeling each of my Chakras align with one another. As this progressed I began to feel taller, straighter in stature, and my energy seemed to increase and my mind became more alert whilst somehow remaining devoid of any distracting thoughts.

Once my Chakras were aligned and open, I raised my arms up to around 45° angle into the air, emulating the 'Algiz' rune, representing divine life force and connection to the Gods, and began to invoke the Gods in a manner similar to the following:

"I call upon the Father and the Mother, in all their many names and guises. I call upon the Gods and Goddesses, all. I call to the spirits of the Earth and Sky, and the spirits of my ancestors. Hear my call and come to me, for on this day and in this hour, I call upon the divine powers.

Hail to the Father and the Mother, to the Order from the waters of Chaos, those forces which shaped our Universe and brought us all into divine being. Hail to Uranus and to Rhea. Hail to Chronos and to Gaia. Hail to Nut and to Rae. Hail to Anu and Inanna, and to Enki and Nin-Khursag, to Enlil and Nin-Lil, to Lilith and to Belial.

Hail to the Heavenly Host, to Jehovah, to Michael, to Shamael, to Lumiel and Gabriel, great forces of change and justice.

Hail to to the Aesir and the Vanir, the mighty forces of nature which teach and empower us; Hail to Tyr, to Odin, to Frigg and to Freya. Hail to Thor and to Baldr, to Hagal and to Loki, Hail to Skadi and to Hel.

Hail to the Olympians, benefactors of ambition and inspiration who guide us into our own power; Hail to Zeus and to Hera, to Apollonion, to Aphrodite, to Athena, to Ares and to Dionysos. Hail to Persephone and to Hecate. Hail to Hades and Poseidon.

Hail to the ancient powers of the solar wisdom; Hail to Osiris and to Isis, to Nepthys and to Set. Hail to Ra, to Horus, to Thoth and Anumbis.

Hail to the regal powers of the earth and the sea who nurture and nourish us; Hail to Anea and to Dagda, to Lugh and Cernunnos, to Rhiannon and to Brigid.

Hail to Mother Earth and Father Sky, to Grandfather time. Hail to the Spirits of the four winds and the four elements; the Sylphs of Air in the East, to the Salamanders of Fire in the South, the Undines of the Waters in the West, and to the Fae-folk of the Earth in the North. Hail to my ancestors, who teach me in my dreams. Hail to the plants and animals who are my kin and my guides. Hail to the Universe which is around me and within me. In all of your names, I give praise and stand in reverence to you. I come, rooting myself to my Great Mother, to show my respect to you. As Odin hung himself from Yggdrasil for no less than nine days and nine nights to know the Runes, so too do I surrender to the Will of the Fates, the Norns, and sacrifice my pride and ignorance to hear the words of the Gods and know the secrets of the Universe.

I then offered a prayer to the Gods, paying particular attention to those who are directly associated with the issues I was having at the time. I have continued this practice, tailoring each prayer to the changes in my situation, and with the addition of honouring the Gods and Goddesses associated with the day of the week on which I am practicing. I offered prayers of thanksgiving for the blessings and guidance which I have already received, and also thanks in advance for that which I have yet to receive. I pray to the Gods to continue to guide me and work with me and through me, and to make me an instrument of their divine grace, wisdom and compassion so that I may act as a beacon on their behalf. I pray for them to guide my thoughts and actions, to help me speak gently and truthfully, and to keep my feet steadfast on the winding path of life so that I may tread lightly and harm none. I pray for the Gods' blessings of long life, good health and good fortune for myself and my loved ones, and offer a plea for the Gods to help all those in need in the world:

For those who know hunger, let them be fed. For those who have seen war, let them have peace. For those who live in poverty, grant them riches and security. And for those who suffer sorrow and despair, grant them happiness and hope. For the plants and animals that suffer at the hands of man, protect them and keep them safe from further harm; help them remain hidden from the eyes of the ignorant and wicked, and help them to flourish and prosper in the face of adversity. Please guide humanity on a better path and show us the errors of our ways; open our eyes to our ignorance and help us to learn love, compassion and tolerance, so that we may learn to live in harmony with each other and with nature, and stride forward into a golden age where we may achieve the Great Work as one in all your names. As I Will it, so mote it be.

I then make an offering of a stone of tree branch fashioned with the symbols of my direct corresponding deities, and when the weather is fair I burn an offering of incense. I then pledge myself to service to the Gods:

I pledge myself to serve you, Gods and Goddesses, all; to be a conduit for your divine wisdom, strength, grace and compassion, to be the window through which you may communicate and act in this world. Make me the beacon of your wisdom, to guide others on the path in your names. Show me the way so that others may follow into the light of Godhood, for I am your humble servant and student, in this hour and every hour of the day, and every day henceforth until my last day.

I finally ended my dedication by facing each of the cardinal points in turn starting in the East and moving clockwise, honouring the stars and planets, the sun and the moon, marking the points of rising, zenith, setting and dormancy, coming to rest facing North.

When I first started doing my dedication work, I instinctively faced West during my invocation and prayer; however, this didn't quite feel right to me, so I decided to try facing a different direction each day to see which directions had a greater energy. I found that facing East has the least energy for me as an individual, and eventually found that I had the most enriching experiences when facing either South (the direction of the sun, moon, stars ad planets at their zenith, and the corresponding direction to my higher self), or North which actually has the greatest effect for me. I believe that this is the result of me getting in touch with my ancestors who hailed from the North and would have thought of North as being the direction from which the primordial source began to manifest the physical world, and also since my practice is heavily earth based, facing North would make sense as it is the direction which corresponds to the element of Earth. This will differ from one person t the next, as will the choices of deities; but I hope that this will demonstrate a basic example of how to conduct basic daily dedication work. Play around with correspondences, face whichever direction calls to you the most, call upon your preferred Gods and Goddesses, personalise the experience for yourself and see what changes manifest into your life. Happy honouring, and may the Gods be with you!

Enki Endymion. O(

Who Am I? - Discovering the Higher Self

Every human being on this Earth has a threefold existence; their physical form, their human soul and their divine spirit. Most people never move beyond their mundane physical lives, being driven solely by their bodily functions, base instincts and worldly desires for wealth and sex. But a small and ever increasing number of people awaken to the knowledge of their human soul, the understanding of their true place in the world, the desire to help others, a drive to better themselves and the world around them. Such people become life coaches, spiritual healers and teachers, priest(esse)s, aid workers, environmentalists etc. These people are 'the tip of the wedge' readied to force open the door to a new age of enlightenment. An even smaller number of people manage to get in touch with their divine spirit, coming to a realisation of their own divinity and stepping forward into the world as a conduit through which the Gods act in the world. Alister Crowley wrote that every man and every woman is a star, the centre of their own universe, and this is what connecting to the higher self means; becoming the star and having the world gravitate around you. While such people may not go on to fill roles such as those filled by those awaken to the soul, they do shape their own lives in the image of what they truly desire, walking through the world and leaving blazing trails in their wake, setting an example to others on how to do the same. In doing so they not only liberate themselves from the invisible bonds of servitude to a world which neither knows of nor cares for them, they help to liberate others who are already awakened to the soul and drag those who are not out of their materialistic slumber and into the harsh reality of higher consciousness.

I came to be introduced to the idea of the higher self by a friend who had spent many years as a practicing Seer and Spiritual Healer. One evening we were discussing some of the experiences we had had with spirits, good and bad, and she said to me, "if only you knew who you really are, you wouldn't have any trouble of this kind." At the time I had no notion of the 'higher self', but it had me wondering; I had experience a recurring dream in which I was trapped in a dark space surrounded by strange beings that moved like ink in water, and I was approached by a shadowy figure who said the same thing every time, just three words; "Who am I?" Around the same time my friend introduced me to a unique form of Ouija board called an angel table, which was specifically designed using angelic sigils, planetary seals and other symbolic devices to invoke positive energy while repelling negative energy. I had tried other forms of divinatory communication but had difficulty interpreting the answers I received at that early juncture, so decided to try using an angel table to call upon a specific deity. At that time I was looking into Judaeo-Christian mysticism as it had the most reference material readily available to me, so I decided, with my partner, to call upon the Archangel Michael for guidance. We posed a number of questions relating to personal matters and answers to dreams and visions we had had, receiving words and phrases both on the board and in our minds, as well as visions of people, places, objects and symbols which we could note down, research and interpret afterwards.One of my questions was about what my friend had meant by "who you really are", to which I received two words, "True Name". There are a number of traditions that hold the belief that if one can learn a person's true name then they control that person's soul, so this intrigued me further. I asked if Michael could tell me my true name, and I was answered with what appeared to be an anagram. Later, we sat and tried to decipher the messages we had received, and found that my anagram spelled the name Shamael.

Further research into the name revealed that Shamael, also pronounced Samael or Chamael, related to an angel mentioned in the dead sea scrolls. Shamael was one of the first seven creating angels, the Elohim, and the twin of Shamyazza who led the fall of the Watchers from heaven to Earth in order to educate primitive humans. Shamael is the biblical equivalent of Prometheus, giving mankind mastery of all crafts relating to fire, while his twin, Shamyazza bestowed the gift of Metallurgy in conjunction with this. After the Watchers began to breed with human women and produce the Nephilim, "Giants of men, heroes of renown" - (Gen. 6:4), which prompted the wrath of God, Shamael repented and was accepted back into the heavenly host but punished by being marked as the angel of death, while his sibling refused to repent and was cast into darkness after a majority of the Nephilim were destroyed by the great flood. Shamael's participation in the fall from grace has led some scholars and theologians to view him as a demon, though this is incorrect due to his subsequent repentance and return to heaven. He was feared by the Hebrews due to his renewed role as the angel of death, suspected of being the shadow which brought the death of the first born in Exodus which affected all who failed to mark their doors with lambs blood, Egyptians and Hebrews alike. Shamael rules over the 5th Heaven, Machon, and is typically portrayed as being a spirit of both light and darkness, with many unsure as to whether he is wholly good or evil. The name Shamael is derived from Sama-El in Sumerian and is translated to mean "Lord of the Red Land". The ancient Egyptians used this title for their Chaos God, Set, who was represented by the Dessert, or Desh-Rhut meaning Red Land, and so this was later used to label Shamael as a 'devil-like' figure. In one passage of the dead sea scrolls, Shamael is described as the 'sword of God' and can be transliterated into ancient Greek to mean 'the venom/wrath of God'. This inadvertently creates a link back to Archangel Michael, 'he who is like God' who, despite being typically depicted with a spear, uses a sword to slay the Beast in Revelations. As Michael is viewed as the hand of God, and Shamael as the sword of God, it necessarily follows that Shamael is an instrument of or emanation from Archangel Michael, though there is nothing in classical theology to support this interpretation.

Shamael's role as an angel of death links him to such deities as Hades in Greek mythology, Pluto from the Roman Pantheon, Anubis from Egyptian culture and Cernunnos, the Celtic God of Fertility, Nature and the Underworld. His gift of fire to mankind justifies him as being an elemental angel, embodying fire, and his title of 'the sword of God' places him also as an angel of war. The combination of his links to fire and war place him alongside the likes of Ares, Mars, Tyr, Horus and Nuada. His act of bestowing wisdom upon humanity has created a loose link to other 'teacher deities' such as Hermes, Thoth and Odin. This is further suggested as he is often depicted as a dragon or serpent, animals typically associated with wisdom or cunning, which has led some to believe that he is the snake which bestowed the knowledge of free will and good and evil upon Adam and Eve. This link with the serpent imagery also ties Shamael to Enki in Sumerian mythology, who disguised himself as a serpent to free humanity from slavery under Enki's brother, Enlil; Enki was one of the Annunaki who created the world, and was said to govern the elements of Water and Fire, while Enlil governed Air and Earth. These three primary attributes of Shamael as a deity led me to view all deities as having a threefold nature, falling into the categories of 'Maiden, Mother and Crone' for female deities and 'Brave, Warrior and Chief' for male deities. While I am aware that the three-part view of the Goddess is a relatively modern invention by Robert Graves, I feel that it is apt and holds some tangible truth to it, especially as it directly mirrors the threefold nature of all things in nature - mineral/vegetable/animal, solid/liquid/gas, horizontal/vertical/perpendicular, biological/emotional/intellectual etc. - and so I feel that it is a valid addition to the pagan spiritual tradition upon which I have now elaborated. In view of this pantheistic structure, I feel that Shamael is somewhat of an archetypal 'umbrella' term encompassing all of the various deities listed above, or as Stephen D. Farmer would call it, the 'over-soul' of the other deities. This in no way means that the Judaeo-Christian angel is at all superior to the pagan Gods, for they are all one and the same, simply different facets or personality types of a complete entity in the same way that I, as a human being, have an artistic side, and political side, a religious side, a scientific side, a warrior side and a compassionate side. All of these traits make up who I am, just as each of the pagan Gods listed above, when combined, make up the over-soul that is named Shamael.

There were a number of clues that I noticed upon discovering the above information which further consolidated the possibility in my mind. First of all, I was born in the month of March, which is the month sacred to Mars. I was born on a Tuesday which is derived from the Norse Tyr's-day and Latin as seen in the Spanish Martes meaning Mars Day. I was born at 10:10pm, and in numerology, 10 is equivalent to 1 which is the number of creation and action and is sacred to Mars. My favourite colour has always been red, attributed to Mars, Ares, Tyr etc. My zodiacal element is water (for Pisces), and when operating within the Qabbalistic system, my higher spiritual element is a mirror/opposite to my earthly element meaning that my higher self's element must be fire (as seen with Enki governing two opposing elements). When examining my birth date numerologically, I found that it too comes to the spiritual number of Mars, 5+3+1+9+9+1=28, 2+8=10/1. My mother's name, Sam, when conjoined to my name, Liam, spelled backwards in keeping with the mirror theme, is as follows Sam/mial or Samial which is another authentic pronunciation of Shamael. Also, the various planets associated with each of the deities corresponding to Shamael, namely Mars, Mercury, Pluto and Jupiter, were all in direct allignment in the constellation of Aries, which is loosely associated with the Greek God Ares. By meditating upon all of the symbols and names I had uncovered and ruminating deeply on their meanings and connections to each other an myself, I was able to gain more information and deeper insight regarding the roles and stories behind each facet of the deity. With all of these 'coincidences' put together, I found that I was overwhelmed by the amount of synchronistic messages which all suggested that my higher self is indeed Shamael/Ares/Mars/Horus/Nuada/Tyr etc. Over the years I have structured my spiritual practice around this fact and found that it is even more effective than it has ever been before.

In conclusion, though I acknowledge that it is absurd to believe that I am actually an angel/God incarnate, I do feel that the above named deities are in rather my Archetype(s), the primary energetic consciousness with which my Earthly human soul aligns. I could go as far as stating that I am a priest of these deities, this fiery, aggressive, masculine, creative consciousness, a vessel for it or a conduit through which it communicates and acts in the physical world. Too many people take issue with the idea of 'tooting one's own horn' attacking such thoughts by referring to it as 'self-aggrandisement', 'delusions of grandeur', 'God-complex' or being driven by 'Ego' (which is an inaccuracy in new-age terminology, as the idea of Ego comes from Sigmund Freud who divided the human psyche into three parts; namely the Id, which is the self-sabotaging subconscious with low self esteem, the Super-Ego which is the self-aggrandising subconscious with arrogant over-confidence, and the Ego which is the mediating frontal conscious, balancing the Id and the Super-Ego to create an evenly measured healthy mind). All ancient traditions, in their higher mysteries at least, teach that "man is God in the making" - (Manly P. Hall). The Norse saw the Gods as kin to mankind and believed that humans could elevate themselves to the status of Gods through great deeds, as did the Hellenics as with the stories of Heracles and Perceus. Every human has a higher self, and there can be many humans with the same higher self, being physical embodiments or emanations from that deity, and it is up to us to realise these connections, to connect to these Gods as best we can so as to channel their divine power, wisdom and grace into our mundane lives and sacred practices; it's fair to say that 'Gods live among us in disguise'. We all have little clues placed before us by the Gods; look at the numerology of your name, your date of birth, the correspondences of the day and month you were born, the symbols that may appear throughout your life in the most mundane of places, they are all clues as to your true identity and will guide you on the path to Godhood. But please, don't try asking a Ouija board for your name; it's a dangerous business, communicating with spirit, especially through boards. If you feel you must, then be absolutely positive that what you're using is an angel table, and even then, the slightest inaccuracy in the symbols involved could compromise the security of the board. I hope that my sharing this experience with you will help you discover your higher self and become who you were born to be. May the Gods be with you!

Enki Endymion. O(

The 3am Discourses, Conversations and Ruminations in the Dead of Night - The Elements

It was a Thursday night and my wife, then partner of 7 years, and I had come home early from University to see family over the weekend. We were discussing the differences between modern day and the Renaissance era, and the ways in which human thought and perception had changed over the centuries. Of course, this brought us to the subject of Alchemy and how it evolved into modern chemistry. My wife made an offhand comment about how she thought that the older belief that the world was comprised of four elements, and that the newer periodic table of elements were possibly divisions from the original four alchemical elements. With some amusement (being still grounded in scientific empiricism with only an intrigue for the spiritual) I responded by asking what the physical force of fire was comprised of, as it is the bi-product of carbon based substances being exposed to heat which is nothing more than particles charged with electrical energy. She sat in contemplation for a moment before answering.
"Fire is just fire." she stated simply. This irritated me, as she seemed to not have a reasonable answer, and wasn't going to let her off so easily.
"So if fire is made purely from the element of fire then what causes it? We know fire is created when molecules are charged with energy and collide with one another to create the heat and the light, so what is there before fire? And you're not allowed to say 'God'." Again, she fell silent, her brow creased as she tried to formulate her response in her mind before vocalising it.
"Well, fire creates fire. Fire makes other objects catch fire so why cant't it make itself?" This made absolutely no sense to me at the time, and I made my confusion clear.
"How can it create itself? Fire needs preexisting substances in the correct combination for it to come into being, so by your own logic, fire can't create fire, air and earth create fire, and therefore fire is a secondary substance, not an element but a compound."

I believed that my argument was well structured and well presented, so I was somewhat disgruntled when she shook her head. My mind was blown even more when she made her next point.
"The fire was already there before the fire was there." At this point I thought she was trying to use the theory of non-linear time to justify fire as a fundamental element in all creation, creating itself, but I was wrong; and just when I thought the conversation couldn't get any weirder, she said "just like the other elements, air, earth and water all create themselves too." My confusion and impatience deepened, and I felt anger stirring in my gut, especially when she glanced sideways at me from the armchair, a mischievous, childlike grin on her face. Was she trying to confuse me or was she being simply digressing for the sake of ending the discussion having lost her side of the debate? I had to know for certain if she was being serious or simply mocking me. "Nope. I mean it, just like the universe, it makes itself." We had had a similar discussion about multiverse theory just a week before in which she compared the multiverse to bubbles, each bubble a universe which expands to  the point when it pops, creating a cluster of smaller bubbles, which in turn grow and pop to create even more universes. This comparison only confused matters further for me, and I found myself begging for a serious answer.
"Universes are created by other universes, not by themselves!" (I now no longer entirely believe this to be the whole truth for reasons which are outlined in my article on Panentheism in which I discuss toroidal fields.) I was figuratively pacing backwards and forwards in my mind, trying to see what she saw that I was somehow missing; and then in a sentence she put everything at ease.
"Fire is made by particles acting a certain way, but the fire tells them to act that way to make it." It was something so simple I had overlooked it entirely. The fire exists in spirit and influences the behaviour of the particles which in turn creates the physical manifestation of the spirit of fire.

This discussion was the beginning of my exploration of alchemy and consciousness studies. I had been arrogant enough to believe that because I had read and understood the mechanics of how fire is produced and how it emits heat and light, that I understood the essence of what fire is. In the weird world of metaphysics, mind comes before matter, thoughts exist externally and are received by the brain rather than being created by it. In the same way, all things exist as a potential for being, a conceptual non-physical being before they are given form, and if all things in the universe are conscious in their own way, then it necessarily follows that said conscious conceptual being can directly influence the behaviour of physical systems in such a way to create the ideal conditions in which to manifest itself physically to have an even greater effect upon the physical world. In this scenario, fire exists as a spirit, a conscious form of subtle energy emanating from the primordial consciousness within the Grand Design. This conscious emanatory concept communicates with physical objects on an energetic level and programs them to behave in a certain way, in this case, causing the molecules to move in a chaotic fashion, bumping into one another at high speed and thus being charged with kinetic and electrostatic energy causing them to vibrate at a higher frequency and glow, emitting heat and light which manifests as the fire that we know. In the same way, the spirit of water communicates to molecules and dictates that they should stay close to one another but not so tightly as to be immovable as this would create a solid, and also to switch places with other molecules around them, old molecules constantly being replaced by new molecules to preserve the life of the physical water that is created, possibly why water has remained unchanged and at exactly the same volume on earth for the last 4 billion years. Similar processes could be taking place in wind systems and in crystalline structures also, as seen in most crystal formations, the molecules replicate themselves in a fractal pattern, usually in accordance with the golden ratio, which is why crystal structures are so pleasing to look at aesthetically. They are in sync with the golden ratio as a creative energy field which dictates and guides the way in which the molecules replicate and grow; they are quite literally being instructed. This may also account for Rupert Sheldrake's theory of Morphic Resonance; if all matter is formed out of the Universal Source field which is dictating the way in which molecular structures are formed, then once a structure has been successfully formed in accordance with the golden section, then that information is shared to every other piece of matter and energy in the Universe through the Source Field making it easier to form the same structure a second, third or fourth time around.

"All of that from a 40 minute discussion at 3 in the morning? What the hell are you people smoking?" Its a strange Universe we live in, and those who are in tune with that Universe are equally as strange. This is just one of many more discussions that have passed between myself, my wife and our two best friends, and I endeavour to post more of these paraphrased discourses for your perusal and amusement. Until then, may the Gods be with you!

Enki Endymion. O(

Journey to the Centre of the Self - An Expedition into the Soul, Understanding the nature of the self and overcoming emotional trauma through holistic healing, spiritual practice and psychology - 4: You Are What You Eat

Quite literally, everything we eat and drink affects our bodies in ways we can even begin to imagine, and this physiological effect has a knock-on consequence for our mental, emotional and spiritual states as well. In fact, it's not just what we consume which affects us, but also the air we breathe, the people we interact with, the places we go and our exposure to certain energy such as concentrated electromagnetic fields from electricity pylons. All of this affects our bodies and our emotions, and I will briefly explain some of the things that I have discovered in the last couple of months regarding this.

As I mentioned in a previous article in this series, I was tested for diabetes, hypoglycemia, anemia, and other such blood related issues which could have contributed to or caused my emotional imbalance; I tested negative for the above, but found that I had sub-clinical hypothyroidism which was so minor that it could not have caused the issues which I faced. After some deep thought and discussion with my wife, we decided to look at other lifestyle factors, and perhaps experiment with tiny changes to see if this helped to improve matters; of course, the first thing we looked at was diet. Despite my blood sugar levels being fine, as well as my cholesterol, white blood count and platelets, I discovered via some articles in the British Medical Journal, that there are in fact many different types of sugars which affect our bodies in different ways. I had been ingesting the most common form of processed white cane sugar in high quantities which, other than registering in my blood test as normal, was wreaking havoc in my system by inhibiting release of certain hormones which was affecting my endocrine system. I immediately changed to organic natural brown sugar in small quantities and noticed an improvement within two weeks, though this extended only so far as not feeling sick in the mornings, not having the sensation of being full of thick, viscous liquid being squeezed with every movement. My next major change was the consumption of a considerably higher volume of water. Dehydration is the most common cause of 80% of all ailments recorded by GPs in the UK according to the BMJ, for it can result in migraines, nausea, muscle pain, hallucinations, mood swings, depression, hair thinning/loss, weight gain or fluctuating weight, dry/itchy skin rashes, stomach and mouth ulcers, weak immune system resulting in susceptibility to infections, and loss of apatite despite feeling hungry no matter how much you eat. I realised that I had experienced many of the above symptoms, and so took immediate action, drinking my recommended 2-2.5 litres (4-5 pints) of water per day in accordance with my height and weight ratio. within two days, the headaches stopped, my ecsthma went away, my energy levels increased and I felt generally healthier which had a positive effect on my moods overall. If there is one lifestyle change I would recommend to every person, and I mean every person as it benefits everyone in the same way, it would be to cut out fizzy drinks and drink more water, at least a two litre bottle every day; it has helped me tremendously and I know it will help you too.

As well as changing my diet to include less processed sugars and drinking more water, I also looked at how the colour of food can also be an indicator of what one needs to heal the body and soul. For this I looked to Indian and East Asian traditions, and the Chakra system which aids in governing the processes of the human body. for those of you who haven't looked at Chakras, they are basically points or vortexes of energy in the body which influence the glands in the corresponding areas. For example, the Root Chakra, located at the base of the spine, governs one's survival instincts such as the fight or flight response and the need for food etc., by affecting the lumbar system and the adrenal glands and other such internal systems which govern our ability to adapt and survive, while the Sacral Chakra influences our sexuality, parental instincts and aggression due to its link with the gonads, testicles and prostate gland in males, and the ovaries in females. Each Chakra is associated with a colour in the light spectrum due to the energetic frequencies which they emit, thus the Root is Red, the Sacral is Orange, the Solar Plexus (personality, creativity and confidence) is Yellow etc., progressing through green, blue, indigo and violet respectively. with this information in mind, it is easy to see how the Vedic and ancient Chinese traditions came to use red fruit to stimulate the Root Chakra and green or blue fruit to counteract the root Chakra while stimulating the Heart and Throat Chakras. I used this idea to determine which fruits and vegetables to eat; I focused on each of the negative aspects of my health and my thought processes to uncover which Chakras were the most out of balance (either overactive or blocked), and ate the fruits and vegetables of the colours which corresponded to those Chakras. I ate white grapes and green apples to stimulate my Heart Chakra which was blocked by fear and anger emanating from an overactive Root and Sacral. I ate blueberries to improve my eyesight and ease my dreams as they are deep blue like the Third Eye Chakra, and I drank lemon and grapefruit juice to stimulate an under active Solar Plexus for creativity and self confidence. Grapes and Apples help to thin the blood, preventing thrombosis and encouraging healthy cardiac function (helps the Heart), while also relieving blood pressure preventing stress and anxiety (counteracting the Root); Blueberries are rich in Vitamin B12 which stimulates blood flow around the ocular muscles and strengthens neuron-transmission through the optic nerve (helps the eyes), while also stimulating secretion of melonin which is the building block for serotonin and melatonin, as well as dimethyltryptamine from the pineal gland resulting in more regular, restful sleep with vividly lucid dreams (helps the Third Eye); Lemon juice is full of antioxidants and helps to detox the body resulting in good digestive health, clearer skin and stronger hair and teeth, resulting in an increase in confidence (helps the Solar Plexus). This to some may seem like mere coincidence, but in my experience, there is no such thing as coincidence. The ancients knew that colour correspondent food could heal the Chakras, and this is being backed up by modern science, albeit in a different way, and I have experienced this first hand and can attest to the noticeable health benefits of eating consciously in accordance with the Chakra system.

Speaking of Chakras, that brings me to my next contributing factor in physical and emotional illness, energy. I was told by a friend online a long time ago that I have experienced too much negative energy in my past and that it has been stored up inside and stagnated resulting in my generally pessimistic attitude. She told me that I needed to clear this negative energy and suggested Reiki. Reiki is an Eastern practice in which the Master/Healer 'feels' the energy emitted from the Chakras to find out which of them is out of balance, and then proceeds to project his/her energy into those Chakras to restore them to their optimum function. This may sound like new age mumbo jumbo, but the practice (or others very similar) can be traced back thousands of years to Shamanic Healers stretching from Europe to China, from Siberia to Indonesia. I have had only one experience of Reiki treatment, but the intensity of the therapy has convinced me of its effectiveness. I will write about the experience in full in a separate article, as well as other experiences of meditations, rituals and encounters with spirit. Suffice to say that the treatment relieved pains which had plagued me for years, back pain from slouching, chest pain from damaging my ribs as a child, shoulder pain from dislocating the joint two years earlier, all of it just melted away. As well as my physical pain, I also felt my emotional pain slip away, I felt lighter as though a load had been lifted from my chest, and my sadness and anger simply weren't there anymore despite the memories still being at the front of my mind. I felt happy and healthy, as I did when I was with my wife and my friends and could forget the pain, only this time I was present and could perceive the difference. This demonstrated to me that we, humans, are not just sacks of meat animated by electrical impulses, but rather that we are 'energetic' beings also, being governed by and embodying subtle energy on numerous dimensions. This opened my eyes to how people interact with the world and each other. For example, social studies demonstrate that the poorest members of western society live in or near heavily industrialised areas, and that it is in these areas when a majority of crime is committed and where one may find a majority of dysfunctional families. This could be because people with money don't want to live in industrial towns and so the prices there are lower so poorer people can afford to live there, and the only reason they are dysfunctional and resort to crime is due to their lack of wealth, poor education and sub-standard living conditions, however I see it the other way around; such people are poor and uneducated due to the situations they were raised in by the previous generation, but they develop neuroses and become dysfunctional because of the area they are raised in, polluted with chemical fumes and electromagnetic interference from telegraph poles, electricity pylons and heavy machinery in factory buildings, all of which pollutes the body on an energetic level as well as a physical level. This leads to generally poor health, thyroid conditions, obesity, heart trouble, as well as addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling. The body is unable to heal itself because the internal organs and glands are not working as they should due to pollution and unbalanced Chakras. In contrast, people who live away from industrialised areas tend to be generally more relaxed and friendly, if somewhat suspicious of strangers. families in rural areas appear to be stronger with less domestic disturbances, and addictions are less frequently seen. Of course this is a general overview and there are notable exceptions to this on both sides, but the point remains the same, we are heavily influenced by the energetic output of the world around us.

We are not just what we eat, but also what we say and do and feel. If one were to walk into a room full of strangers, and every person in the room was in a really bad mood, even if they said nothing and sat still in an effort to hide their negative mood, the room would still be charged with their emotions emanating outwards; in the same way, if everyone in the room were excited for an event but had to sit in silence like waiting for a book signing in a Library, then the room would be charged with anticipation and excitement, even if one can not see it on the surface. If we operate on the assumption that people absorb as much energy as they emit, then it is reasonable to assume the by being in the presence of one or more negative people, one is being poisoned with negative emotions and thoughts via those people's energetic fields. This would explain what my friend meant when she said 'too much negativity', the people I was surrounded by in childhood were often drunks and drug users, sometimes violent individuals and criminals, but this energy was counteracted by the positive emotions emitted from other members of family who took care of me, by my friends who didn't know anything about the troubles, by the animals I spent time with. This is another key to my shift in health, spending time in nature; I love being outside, always have; in fields, woods, hills, by steams or by the sea, in the mountains and wherever there is plenty of plant and animal life. I believe that this is because of the positive energy that plants and animals emit, and that this energy has helped to neutralise the negative emotions locked up in my unconscious mind.From a Psychological point of view, this is simply a form of escapism, seeking seclusion in nature to forget the troubles of day to day life. This is incorrect as far as I am concerned, for it is in these periods of seclusion and escape that I contemplate that which has come before, when I can face up to what troubles me and understand it and in doing so, overcome my own issues; and the only reason I can do this is because I have been emotionally and spiritually grounded by the plants, animals and people around me.

In conclusion, I have discovered through my own research and experience that my ill emotional and psychological health has been due, in part, to chemical imbalances in my body, and even further through energetic imbalances resulting from my past experiences and the people I have grown up around. I have discovered that water plays a huge role in balancing the body, even on an energetic level for reasons which are too numerous to list in this article, I instead direct you to this wonderful video from the Spirit Science team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtDennZr5fA. I have witnessed the power of 'sympathetic magick' through the corresponding colours of food with the Chakras and I have succeeded in tempering my emotions by focusing on my physical and spiritual well being and surrounding myself with positive people which has helped to ground me in order to discuss openly and understand internally all that has caused my lack of control. Of course the issue is still present, but it is much easier to deal with lately, and when I feel the stirrings of frustration or anger I can reign it in and keep it in check. Now I must find a way to neutrilise such feelings completely or channel them into other things such as martial arts. I shall continue to look at other alternative therapies and keep you updated on my progress at each step on the journey. Until then, to all of you, I wish you the very best for the New Year. May the Gods watch over you and be with you always.

Enki Endymion. O(

Journey to the Centre of the Self - An Expedition into the Soul, Understanding the nature of the self and overcoming emotional trauma through holistic healing, spiritual practice and psychology - 3: Probable Cause

“There is a means to every end, a root to any cause. Sometimes the root is more evil than any cause, though it’s the cause that is usually the most vilified” – Michael Connelly, The Poet.

As mentioned at the end of my previous article in this series, I have recently had a series of blood tests for hypoglycaemia, diabetes and anaemia. The results of these tests were clear for the most part, though one did reveal that I have sub-clinical hypothyroidism which can result in sensitivity to temperature changes, dramatic changes in appetite, cognitive function and mood. However, when I asked if my case was severe enough to cause the immense swings in physical and emotional stability, my GP simply laughed and replied, “it was barely picked up in the test, it is highly unlikely that what you describe is as a result of hypothyroidism to such a small degree.” At this point I feel it is safe to rule out blood related conditions as a cause of chemical imbalance in the brain. If my troubles are resulting from such a chemical imbalance, then I feel it is likely congenital in a similar vein to autism or bipolar disorder. This is something which I will research in more depth later on.

While examining the various triggers for my emotional fluctuations is indeed insightful, it is merely an observation of that which is symptomatic of a much deeper problem. I am, for instance, not prone to angry outbursts in response to spilt milk because I genuinely despise the spilling of milk, but the spilling of the milk triggers an outburst because it is but one example of my flaws as a human being; though the spillage may not have been the direct result of my own clumsiness, for some reason my mind interprets that event as such, and thus I become frustrated at myself, despite not being to blame. But again, this is but one step on the ladder which descends to the darkest roots of the problem. My frustration at my perceived ineptitude stems from a deep rooted self-hatred, which is a direct result of a number of contributing factors from my childhood:

1. I blame myself for the instability of my family. This is highly irrational, but it is typical of children growing up in unstable environments to feel responsible for the unrest between their parents, and given the impressionable nature of a child’s mind, this idea becomes encoded in the subconscious and can last long into the person’s adult life if left unchecked.

2. My inadequacies were repeatedly highlighted as a child, and I was regularly scolded for my lack of understanding or ability to follow instructions which were far beyond my level of comprehension. As a result, I have been subconsciously programmed to judge myself harshly against a set of unrealistically high standards which, when they are not met, triggers an emotional response similar to that which was directed towards me by adults in my youth.

3. My inability to perform certain tasks acts as a constant reminder that I am only human. As odd as this may sound, for everyone knows that they are only human and that all humans have flaws, I immersed myself in a fantasy in which I was capable of anything as a means of escaping the perceived reality of being unable to live up to the expectations of my elders. In doing so I could forget that I was inadequate and pretend that I was not a disappointment in order to make myself feel better emotionally, and of course some remnant of that childhood fantasy endured and solidified in my subconscious mind so that when it is broken, it reminds me that I, at least in my own mind, was always inadequate which brings back those feelings of self-hatred, anger and guilt.

By the same token, my propensity towards aggression in arguments stems from my witnessing such behaviour as a child, and thus coming to the conclusion at that early age that such behaviour is not only acceptable, but also the only effective method of prevailing over another of an opposing outlook. For years I saw my elders overcome domestic arguments with both verbal and physical violence, which left an imprint on my psyche, especially in my early teens when this behaviour became directed at me. Naturally a simple argument would descend into a verbal slanging match, with me merely replicating what I had seen and heard so many times before, and eventually escalate into spontaneous bouts of lashing out at one another until we ended the conflict with one or both us in pain and tears. These encounters were never the result of a premeditated resolution to hurt one another, but rather just happened as a result of both of our instinctual reactions coming into play in response to certain psychological stimuli. It would appear that many of my more problematic emotional traits are in fact inherited from my mother, perhaps through genetics, or perhaps through environmental conditioning and mirror neuron response. It is difficult to know, though I am inclined to think it is due to both in equal measure, for she too suffered trauma in her early teens which I will not discuss for that is her history, not mine. Another reason for my aversion towards aggression is likely due to a desire to establish authority or control over a situation based on the mirrored behaviour of my parents. I suppose it’s true that often the victim of bullying becomes the bully, for I find myself demanding obedience and respect from those around me where it is not due, and my anger flares up when people do not conform to my way of thinking or behaving, just as I saw my elders become angry when people didn’t do as they wanted; so it occurs almost naturally for me to become angry and resort to aggression when things or people don’t go as I want them to.

So, my short temper and explosive rage is partly due to being mentally scarred by witnessing domestic violence, and partly due simply to bad parenting? That may be so, but I can’t help but be plagued by the same questions that I posed in the last article. If that were the case then surely I would have adopted other behavioural traits such as alcoholism, drug abuse, contempt for society and a penchant for rebellion? It is my intention to circumvent this problem with reference to some controversial science, the dichotomy of Nature versus Nurture. As I have outlined above, the “Nurture” aspect of my psychology is wholly inadequate to explain why I have adopted one set of personality traits but not others, and so it is to the “Nature” aspect that we must now shift our focus, the nature of hereditary personality traits through genetics. To begin I will examine my Mother’s side of the family. She herself has a very short temper, as well as a disregard for authority and a weakness for alcohol. Her mother, my grandmother, has none of these traits and is instead a kind, patient and docile woman with a great degree of self-discipline. Instead we should look to my grandfather, who does have a short temperament, enjoys his drink in moderation and can become very hot headed just like his father before him. Both were military men, and both held old fashioned values regarding discipline of children. This, one might assume, is the root of the problem; but it’s not quite the whole picture. My mother’s brother, far from being a chip off the old block, is less prone to letting his emotions get the better of him. He is indeed ruthless when it comes to getting what he wants, and he is impatient, but he rarely loses his temper over anything. This directly contradicts the assumption that genetic traits in the paternal strain are passed directly to the next generation of males and thus bypassing any female offspring. Instead the complete opposite has happened and the female has adopted more personality traits from the father while the male has adopted traits from the mother.

While this may not aid in discounting the role of genetic predisposition in my own behaviour, it does demonstrate how genetics can be overridden, just as many of the environmental factors have been overridden in my situation. Therefore, it could be concluded that neither genetics nor environment are fully responsible for our behavioural composition; but before we jump to that conclusion, let us now look at my father’s side of the gene pool. My father is a man prone to stress, yet his inability to stop himself from working acts as a major contributing factor to this. Despite this he is patient, persistent and well disciplined, as well as a perfectionist which explains his being a workaholic. Neither he, nor either of his parents has any problems with their temper, and all are extremely patient and willing to persevere in order to help others. Finally, none of them have any kind of addiction. Despite my not knowing my father or his family for over twenty years, I seem to have inherited many, if not most of his personality traits as I have grown up, being guided away from certain behaviours which were prevalent in my mother. So why is it, that my genetic makeup is configured in such a way as to guide me on the better path? How, having no contact with my father and being raised by my mother, have I adopted most of the traits of the former? While I cannot deny that genetic predisposition plays a huge role in my behaviour, I cannot help but feel that my “acceptance” of some genetic traits and my “rejection” of others is influenced by something outside of and greater than myself. One explanation for this comes from the scientist Rupert Sheldrake in his thought provoking literary work The Science Delusion with his theory of “Morphic Resonance”. This theory postulates that all beings and objects of the same kind develop in accordance with the collective “memory” of all others that have come before them; so a rat in London will learn a new skill, after which time all other rats around the world, having had no contact with the first rat, would begin to learn the same skill with greater ease all at the same time, and the more rats that learn the skill, the faster all other rats around the world learn it. In the same way, it might be possible that I have adopted aspects of my father’s behaviour, and the behaviour of his parents before him through the principle of Morphic Resonance, without having any contact with any of them and without being told of their behaviours in order to emulate them. I simply am like them in so many ways. This theory is still in its infancy however, so I cannot comment on this further at this point in time.

Whatever the cause of my psychological, emotional and behavioural composition, I do feel that the number 3 has significance throughout the universe – 3 primary colours, red, blue and yellow; 3 primary categories of growing things, animal, vegetable, mineral; 3 states of elements, solid, liquid, gas, etc. - and I have come to the understanding that every individual on this Earth is constructed from three primary sources; the genetics of his or her parents, the environment in which he or she is raised, and predetermined intention of an external force or consciousness. This may seem like quite an absurd assumption with no fundamental basis in relation to that which I have discussed hitherto, I have accumulated enough life experience, as well as knowledge from a veritable library of books to come to the conclusion that the fore-mentioned statement is a fact of life that is little recognised by the vast majority of people. While my behavioural and emotional states can, for the most part, be attributed to the genetic inheritance from my parents, the very fact that another part of my genetics guided me away from succumbing to the influences of my immediate environment demonstrates to me that those elements that we inherit from our progenitors are not entirely random, but rather selected by something beyond our physical being, or at the very least influenced by some external force or energy. So what is it that makes me...me? What truly influences the formation of our genetic code? What is it that selects those elements of that code and constructs them in such a way as to determine what kind of people we will grow up to be, regardless of adverse living conditions and potential negative influence of our parents and peers? This is what I will be examining and contemplating through the course of the next few articles, though some thought must first be directed towards contributing factors of a more terrestrial nature, such as diet and exercise. For now, there is a lot of research, soul searching and introspection to be done, so I will be back with my next installment soon. Love, light and peace to all.

Enki Endymion. O(

Travelling Through the Ether - A Mystical Experience

“The thing that is so powerful about psychedelics is that they perform on demand, which almost in principle you cannot expect of a mystical experience because that would be essentially man ordering God at man’s whim, which is not how it’s supposed to work.” – Terence McKenna.

There is much that can be said for leading a normal life; some say it is the best way to live, some say that normal is safe and therefore the better way to be, others complain that normal is just too boring for them. But no matter how normal or adventurous you life is, it will never be quite the same after having a mystical experience.

Many people misunderstand the word ‘Mystical’ and often associate it with ‘Mythical’, passing it off as the stuff of fairy tales and superstition; but the origin of the word comes from Middle English and was first recorded in writing in the early 1600’s, meaning ‘hidden meaning’, thus its close knit relationship with the word ‘Occult’ which also means ‘hidden/concealed’. Mystical experience is anything which ‘inspires a sense of spiritual mystery, awe or fascination’ and can also be defined as that which has ‘spiritually symbolic or allegorical meaning which transcends human understanding.’ In truth, mystical experiences do not transcend our understanding, they simply challenge it, and force our minds to work in ways we never knew or believed they could. Don’t be misled by my opening citation; mystical experience is not solely dependent on psychedelics to be attained, but this is one of the fastest methods through which shamanic practitioners can project the consciousness into other dimensions of perception. Alternative methods for attaining mystical experience are dancing, chanting, rhythmic drumming, meditation, hypnosis, breathing exercises, Yoga, Thai Chi, mantra, drawing Sacred Geometry, sun/moon gazing, scrying (in flames, reflections etc.) and practicing lucid dreaming. All of the practices listed above can alter the wavelength in the human brain, stimulating heightened perception, hallucination, precognition, telepathic communication and Out-of-Body experiences (O.B.E.). I will be looking at a number of methods for attaining mystical experience, and describe to the best of my ability, my recollections of those experiences for anyone who has either had an experience but doesn’t know how to make sense of it, or anyone who is thinking about trying to pursue the mystical experience.

My experiences, in order of intensity-significance ratio, lowest to highest are as follows.

1.Breathing exercise – Intensity: low-medium, started slowly then gained in intensity. Symbolic significance: Medium, simple lesson conveyed through basic symbols. I used to suffer from extreme stress to the extent of making myself physically ill. So a friend of mine suggested a couple of basic breathing exercises to calm me. I tried them whenever I felt the familiar tightness in my chest, but it only served in alleviating the anxiety for a short period of time. One day I was sitting in my bedroom, having no work to do, nothing to worry about and no one to disturb my solitude. I had this vague feeling that I should try doing the breathing exercise despite not feeling the onset of stress, but I decided to try it anyway. The little voice in the back of my mind urged me to be patient and focus on my breathing, so I inhaled slowly, counting the ticks of the clock until I hit eight, then held for two more ticks before releasing the breath slowly, counting four ticks, then finally held for another two seconds before repeating.after the first two repetitions I felt my muscles begin to relax. After eight repetitions I could no longer hear the ticking of the clock, nor any other sound beyond my breathing and the beating of my own heart. After twelve repetitions I began to see images behind my eyelids, as one does when dreaming. The images were fleeting at first, fragmented and never holding their form like whisps of smoke in the blackness of my closed eyes. I attempted to focus on them but when I did they faded, so I returned to focusing on my breathing and soon the images returned. The smoke danced and swirled and there appeared to be colour, red and blue, and then the smoke became a small bird in flight. It fluttered through the inky black and blue haze around it until it began to leave a trace, almost like a smoky trail of red which grouped together to form flames. The little bird was consumed in the flames and vanished, then the red flames merged with the blue haze turning it purple. The purple then changed, transitioning through each colour in the light spectrum until it became a mixture of orange and green from which emerged the little red bird again, as if hatching from an egg. I then felt my arm slide off of the edge of the bed as i drifted towards sleep and jolted back to full wakefulness. After the experience I looked up the symbolic meanings and correspondences of each of the colours, as well as tried to find the species of bird that I saw. After some research I learned that the bird was a Lark. Larks are associated with the sun and daybreak. They are known primarily for their beautiful singing and represent the warmth and vitality of the sun and therefore are correspondent with the direction South. This ties into the fact that the Lark was red, which is the colour associated with the South and the alchemical element of Fire. This represents masculine energy and vitality and again is sun related. The message of the vision was to openly express and manifest my male creative energy through music. The blue haze represents stability, wisdom, loyalty and communication hence its association with the Throat Chakra; so the red flames merging with the blue signifies the application of the creative energy to communicate wisdom or knowledge to others. Purple is the colour of regality and higher knowledge, attributed to the Crown Chakra; from manifesting my ideas in the world I will elevate my consciousness. The colours changing to a mix of orange and green can be symbolic of the Chakras again, for between the Sacral Chakra (orange, sexual energy) and the Heart Chakra (green, love and compassion) lies the Solar Plexus Chakra (yellow) representing creative expression and self confidence from which the Lark of joy and creativity is reborn. This is just one way of interpreting the vision.

2. Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) – Intensity: medium-high, experience itself wasn’t intense but the after effects were. Symbolic significance: medium-high, too many images to remember in order and thus difficult to analyse and translate. I was introduced to the idea of DMT when I stumbled across a book in Waterstones entitled The Cosmic Serpent, DNA and the Origins of Knowledge by Jeremy Narby. I found this book fascinating and definitely recommend reading it, for it put so much into perspective on the thorny issue or drug use versus shamanic tradition. I asked around and finally made a contact through a transfer student in my University who was able to acquire a very small amount of crystalline DMT. The substance turned to liquid very quickly under high temperature so had to be mixed with dried sage which acted as a binding component without adding any mind altering effects which would disrupt the effects of the DMT. The mixture was smoked in a pipe, yielding only two tokes, but that was perfectly sufficient. within minutes a began to feel light headed which intensified into a feeling of sea-sickness inducing very mild nausea. After about a minute of this discomfort I ‘took off’; it felt as though, despite being seated on a sofa, that my body had dropped into the seat but left my mind/spirit/consciousness standing upright. My friend had Jurassic Rock playing quietly on his laptop and the ambient sounds of guitar and keyboard carried me through the oil painting which was our dorm room with a feeling of being freed from captivity, a bliss amounting to euphoria. The sequence of images that I saw is impossible to relay accurately in full order in which I saw them, but I remember seeing a giant snake with wings, I remember flying across a vast desert on its back and seeing the clouds beneath me change into rocks then back to clouds again, transmuting the formations of nature from vapour to solid then to vapour again. I remember moving through seemingly endless tunnels of light, changing colours constantly with infinitely complex fractal geometric patterns. I recall apoint where I was seeing the music, the sounds translating into light and then into coherent visual patterns like ripples from water droplets on the surface of a still lake. All the while there was this feeling that I was accompanied by something, a hyper intelligent being which was trying to teach me things through the images I was presented with. I was taught about the structure of matter, about plants and animals, I was shown the patterns in nature, spirals and vortexes of energy, the communication between all things animate and inanimate. I tried to question what I was seeing, to have it explained to me, to keep it fixed in my mind to be studied and to make sense of it, but I was told to not ask questions, to not wonder in that moment and to simply ‘be’ and let the images come. There were dozens of other sensations and emotions, colours, shapes, images, people, places, symbols which I saw on my journey, but I cannot remember them, plus I would be here forever trying to write them all down. Over all, the visual journey itself was nowhere near as vivid or terrifying as some people have described, but it did grow in intensity, reaching a peak then slowly drifted back to wakefulness, and some of the images I recalled afterwards are ones which have been seen by many people in exactly the same way, the feathered/winged serpent for example. This suggests to me that there is some fixed nature to the ‘world’ we are transported to when on DMT, and that each experience is not entirely subject to the individual’s own mind but rather there is some objective truth which is shared by all who experience it. As stated, the after effects of the experience were more intense. When I opened my eyes, the dorm room did not seem real to me. Everything was too straight, too square, too rigid. My mind had become accustomed to perceiving the loose, free-flowing energy of the higher dimension and had difficulty in processing the static, boxed in dimensions of physical reality. It felt as though the walls wanted to bend and flex to match the way my mind was working, but they were unable to do so resulting in disorientation and a degree of frustration at the fact that I could not make the walls more fluid to ease my constrained perception. Strangely the whole experience was only supposed to last for 15-20 minutes, but I was journeying for up to 45 minutes before starting to come down. In total the effects lasted for 1 hour and 7 minutes. It was by no means an unpleasant experience, for it was mind altering, enlightening and liberating, but very difficult to translate into coherent messages unlike the vision from the breathing exercise.

3. Guided Meditation – Intensity: High, occurrences in the vision were experienced on a physical level, sounds, smells, textures and sensations. Symbolic significance: High, everything in the vision meant something or represented part of my psyche/soul/higher being. An old friend of the family spent many years as a working psychic and spiritual healer, and had ample experience in hypnotherapy and guided meditations for the purposes of Soul Retrieval. One afternoon I was visiting and our conversation came to the subject of spiritual healing. I had no experience of spiritual practice at that time, and the only internal visionary experiences I had had were random and incoherent at a young age. She suggested guiding me into my first meditation to meet my spirit guides and, in my youth and zeal, I agreed enthusiastically. I was seated in an arm chair and made comfortable. I was given a glass of water before we began, then I closed my eyes and listened. My tutor described roots growing out from the soles of my feet and digging into the ground, down through the crust of the Earth, through the mantle of lava and into the Earth’s core. She had me picture the roots sucking up the heat and the light from the molten metal sphere and channel that heat ad light back into my body, spreading up from my feet and into my legs, stomach, chest, arms, head, until finally it would erupt from the top of my head and the light would spill down around me until I was encased in a safe shell. As she described this I could feel and see in my mind, the energy moving through my body like a fiery snake. Once enveloped in the protective light field, my tutor talked me through the colours of the rainbow, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, having me focus on the colours in order in my mind, seeing them behind my eyes, feeling them in each part of my body. Once I had violet fixed firmly in my focus, she had me impose a shape, any shape, into my mind and to imagine myself walking towards the shape; I pictured a heart. I was guided through the centre of the heart like a door or portal and found myself standing in a field full of wild flowers of blue, pink, and white interspersed with small yellow buds. behind e was a mountain, to my left was a sunlit forest and to my right was a forest shrouded in mist and shadow. Ahead of me, sloping downhill, the field ended in the distance at the shore of a lake over which sat a red sun as if setting into the water. Above me the sky was clear and light blue but with pinky orange clouds of dusk despite there being another sun, golden and blazing at its height. I was drawn to the left hand forest so was instructed to go there either by walking, running, flying or teleporting. I could feel the grass between my bare toes (even though in the waking world I had shoes on), and I could smell the flowers. flew across the field, feeling the gut wrench of G-force at high speed and the wind rushing past me, and came to a red arch bridge across a narrow, slow moving river inhabited by little red fish swimming in circles amongst smooth, flat stones. I looked at my reflection in the water and saw that I had three pairs of dark brown wings. I marveled at them and mused on the fact that the sound of running water was so clear in my mind along with the sound of birdsong; I could even feel the wings on my shoulders as if I had phantom limbs which I could move. I then ventured into the forest, down a dirt path lined with small brown mushrooms. A stag appeared out of the bushes and jumped across the path from right to left in front of me, with seven bluebirds flying around it’s head. The path led me to a clearing in which there stood a large stone which vaguely resembled pride rock in the Lion King. upon it were carved Runes, though the words that they spelled when translated were Greek. I didn’t find this out until a long time afterwards when looking back over my original notes from the session. I sat in contemplation by the stone thinking of what to ask my spirit guide when I met it. while I was thinking, a green snake appeared in the long grass at the edge of the clearing amongst the golden saplings of Ashes and Elms. The middle of the clearing was lit by a strange golden light which didn’t come from either of the suns, and I felt its warmth on my skin. I proceeded down another path which was darker with no mushrooms or animals, until the trees thinned and I stood in a long gorge, covered in grass and wild flowers, the same as the first field. There was a pi-balled horse frolicking in the grass and a silver wolf playing with it, and the sight of the two animals in harmony filled me with a warm happy feeling making me smile inside and out. in the side of right hand cliff was a cave which wound up through the rock and came out at the top of the cliff where my spirit guide resided. I took a seat on a bench beside a campfire near the cave mouth and waited patiently. after a while a small ball of white light emerged from the cave and became an owl which perched on a post opposite me and spoke to me of my confusion, my self doubt, my anger, my feeling of inadequacy and told me that I needed to take up the path of the Hermit, to look within and travel the realms of spirit to learn my true name, who I really am and what my purpose on the Earth is. The owl presented me with a bronze crown and told me that the weight may sometimes be difficult to bear, but I must never relent or remove it from my head. We conversed for what felt like an hour, then I was instructed to go back to the field from whence I came as night was drawing near, and that I could not be there when night time approached. I retraced my steps noting slight differences along the way; in the clearing the saplings had become fully grown and perched in one of them was the owl holding the green snake dead in its beak. There was a third path which had not been there earlier which was dark and forbidding so I avoided it and went down the path to the open field on which there were no more mushrooms, but instead there were bright red berries growing on the bushes which I couldn’t eat. Back in the field I could see stars as the second sun followed the first into the lake, and in the sky I could see the heart shape I had arrived through and was drawn back through it to full wakefulness, seeing the sequence of images from the start of the meditation going in reverse until I finally opened my eyes. If anyone is interested in knowing the symbolic interpretations of this vision then do send me a message and I’ll be happy to discuss any aspect of it with you.

These are just three of many Mystical Experiences I have had over the years, and as demonstrated, my encounter with psychedelics was far from the most vivid. Try out the breathing exercise for yourself and perhaps have a friend or relative try to guide you into your own inner world. Whatever you see, hear, feel in there is a clue to who you are as a person and as a soul, and can also offer clues as to something which ails you while offering solutions to your problems. Mystical Experience is a great form of therapy and one which I would recommend to anyone, though perhaps the use of psychedelics should be avoided if possible, as UK law prohibits it’s use and depending on your personal health, it you might not have the same experience that I had. Deep meditation, particularly on symbols or images can help you connect to the energies associated with them. Rhythmic dancing and drumming helps to synchronise your body and mind to a slower wave length making it easier to achieve and altered state of consciousness. Sometimes, however, the individual doesn’t need to seek out the Mystical Experience; sometimes the experience happens randomly, triggered by some subconscious workings being realised through symbols, words, music, pictures or an emotion. This can manifest as sudden moments of clarity, inexplicable bouts of happiness and laughter, sudden appreciation for everything in life, suddenly noticing the beauty and complexity of nature, images when you close you eyes accompanied by a high pitched ringing in your ears, and even a new perspective on space and time allowing you to conduct a lot of things in your day in a very short space of time, the feeling that your day has gone when in fact only an hour has gone by while you have done so much! You may start to have extremely vivid dreams, dreams which will either feel so real that you’re not sure if you have woken up at the end, dreams which come to pass a short time later, dreams in which a person will appear whom you have not seen for a long time only to bump into them in waking life. All of this is classed as Mystical Experience, and all of this is possible if you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility. I hope this has inspired you or given you some ideas. In all that you do, all that you are, and all that you will become, I wish you good luck. Namaste!

Enki Endymion. O(