The Other 96% - 2: Million Dollar Questions

“Cognito ergo sum, I think, therefore I am.” – René Descarte

In The Other 96% - 1: Inroduction to Non-ordinary Reality, I wrote of how the weird world of quantum physics opened up my mind to the possibility of the existence of God. In this article we’re going to jump right in at the deep end and look at what God is, how it came to be and how it began the process of spiritual emanation which led to the creation of the material universe of which we know so little. I feel it necessary to discuss this matter early to put later articles into perspective. Now, I don’t have a fixed definition of what God actually is, but I have spent many years trying to figure it out and discussing the matter with friends and family. My perception of God, or a phrase I prefer to use is The Great Architect, is of an all-unifying force or energy that binds matter together and influences the movements and processes of everything in existence. When I say energy I use the word loosely, for energy in scientific terms is a bi-product of existence rather than the creator of it; but in the same way that most energy is completely invisible to human perception despite having massive potential for initiating physical change, so too is the Great Architect. In fact the energetic nature of God, as seen in the day to day synchronicities and fortunate coincidences which we know as “fate” could even be seen as the physical manifestation of what God really is… a concept.

The Oxford English dictionary defines a concept as “an abstract idea” or “a plan or intention”, even going so far in its devaluation of concepts as to call them “an idea or invention to help sell or publicize a commodity”; but the etymological root of the word is in two Latin words, com – meaning together, and capere – meaning take. Combined they form concipere, which translates as to create. From this we have words such as conception and conceive, which relate directly to the initial burst of creative energy in an organic structure resulting in the development of a living organism through the process of mitosis, in which new cells emanate from older ones. Thus a concept can be defined as the first point of creation, or in the case of God, the first creating thought. Some people might read this and think, “God is a concept, therefore just an idea in the mind”; but this, in my opinion, is misguided and lacking in understanding. Concepts are different from ideas. An idea is something which is formed by one or more minds from bits and pieces of pre-existing information and requires manual alteration in order to develop and generate new ideas; whereas concepts exist independently from any mind and seem to be wholly organic in nature, springing from somewhere, though no one can identify where, then growing and evolving out of themselves with no external influence (like cells through mitosis), then further evolving with each new idea that they help to create in the minds of those who experience them. A prime example of this is mathematics. Numbers are entirely symbolic and have little to no actual relevance in the natural world thus making them an idea formulated in the minds of humans. However those numbers are entirely based upon the fact that everything in the world is not alone in its existence, that there is always another of something somewhere. This fact is the concept which helped to create the idea of numbers, the true mathematics behind and before the numbers. If we lived in a world where there was only one of everything then we would have no perception of “more” and so numbers would not be developed as an idea. Both concepts and ideas can create and consist of a collection of thoughts, for thoughts are concepts and ideas in their own being, but group together to form greater concepts and ideas; so while a number of concepts can develop individually and be utterly disconnected and meaningless on their own, they can merge to bring the greater, true concept into being, similar to people formulating ideas, but in a completely organic way with an almost gravitational quality, like attracting like and absorbing only that which makes it stronger and more coherent. The thing about concepts is that they are conscious, that is to say capable of making decisions, choices, sacrifices, and even possessing morality. Concepts as consciousness can decide to manifest in different ways which aids in the diversity of subsequent ideas and physical creations; so the phrase mind-over-matter can be equally apt when changed to mind-before-matter. They can decide what form to take and how to present themselves to an individual, which is one reason why people can perceive the same thing in infinitely different ways.

So, if God can be regarded as the first concept or thought, what would it be? This is just one of many million dollar questions, but if I were a formless consciousness in an endless expanse of nothing I know what my first thought would be; I AM. Where nothing exists, the first thing to arise would be the realisation that the nothing is in itself something. God is the “I AM” because it is the first product of non-existence, which when represented as geometry is a dot within a circle to denote oneness and the creation of order from chaos. The next thought would likely be the separation of God from the nothingness, the “if I AM, then what AM I NOT?” this would be symbolised by the Vesica-Pisces, the nexus point between two circles to show that though God or consciousness has acknowledged a separation of itself from everything around it, they are still intrinsically linked by their mutual lack of form or motion. The third thought arises from this recognition of separation on a broader scale, “If I AM and what I perceive is what I AM NOT, then what else is there?” This is the creative pulse, the conceptual big bang, a wave of potential for what could be, depicted in the trinity representing the three primary existential states; being, non-being and becoming, what is, what isn’t and what could be. I believe that this conceptual formula is what the trinity symbolism truly represents on the most fundamental level, though all symbols are designed to have multiple layers of meaning and interpretation as I will discuss in later instalments. With this new expanse of limitless potential comes a new thought or question, “Where did this/I/we come from?” As newborn babies, humans have little to no cognitive or motor function and simply exist with the realisation that we do actually exist. Then comes the separation, the mirror phase where we recognise that we are not the same as our parents or the world around us. Later we ask “mum/dad, where do babies come from?” in order to understand our own being, and even later again in adolescence and beyond we continually ask ourselves “Why am I here? What is my purpose?” This same pattern can apply to the emanations of The Great Architect, as it begins to question its existence, where it came from and why IT IS. This outpouring of contemplation gives rise to what Jung referred to as The Archetypes, facets of the original creative mind designed to interact with one another and explore the composition and exposition of the self; these are the Elohim or Angels of the old testament, the Neters of the Egyptian pantheon, the Old gods of the European pagan theologies. They exist in the outer reaches of the energetic field, but also in the innermost depths of the human psyche, for they are one and the same; “As above, so below. As within, so without.” Each of these potential functions or manifestations of the cosmic mind takes on certain characteristics; active or passive, creative or destructive, fixed or mutable, and the continuous exchange between these facets is the beginning of energetic motion or flow. From here one might gather how this snowballs into the development of a vast ebbing conceptual energetic field, and from there how this field can interfere with itself to form single focused points of energy through the consequent interference pattern, points of energy which we have now come to refer to as matter.

Energy, also, cannot be construed as the energy we are familiar with such as heat or kinetics etc. The energy I speak of is what Einstein termed “subtle energy”, or as Roger Penrose calls it “Non-local quantum correlation” This immeasurable energy is what forms sub atomic particles and ties them together across infinitely vast expanses of space. It is the unifying principle of all existence, that which instructs particles to combine in certain ways to form the building blocks of life, or to vibrate in such a way as to generate heat and light. As it is written in Colossians 1:17 “He Himself is before all things, and all things are held together in Him.” This energy and the infinite variations and vibratory levels of which it is comprised are the foundation upon which many of my ideas and future articles are based. Any attempts to understand subtle energy through the established conventional scientific means of experimentation and testing would be fruitless, for the measurement of any energy can only be conducted where there is a difference in concentration between two locations or states. Subtle energy, however, is so universally distributed throughout the universe and everything in it, that to test for its presence and take measurements would be impossible, just as it would be impossible for a fish to measure the amount of water in the ocean in which it lives. Only when the fish is removed from the water does the water’s absence become apparent allowing the fish to perceive difference; likewise we can only speculate about this energy unless we can somehow become removed from it, but this, like with the fish out of water, would kill us for without it we would cease to exist. So when the sacred scriptures say that we are made “in His image” and that we are all “children of God” and that “God is for all and in all”, they refer to the all unifying field of subtle energy or consciousness from which everything else arose. This, I believe, is what The Great Architect is, and by casting off the iron fetters of the current, rigid scientific paradigm and pursuing an understanding of and connection to this universal frequency, we can crack the existential enigma and move into the next stage in our evolution; Manly P. Hall summed this up when he wrote “Man is God in the making”, for man is a microcosmic model of the greater Universe, which is the mind of God expressing itself through an infinite range of possibilities. Whether or not The Great Architect is transcendent, imminent or even personal is another matter which I will consider at length later on. But, to conclude I will use this quote from one of the greatest and most understated men in history:

“If you want to find the secrets of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” – Nikola Tesla

Journey to the Centre of the Self - An Expedition into the Soul, Understanding the nature of the self and overcoming emotional trauma through holistic healing, spiritual practice and psychology - 1. Rough Waters

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” – Genesis, 1:1

My creation story has some close similarities to that of Genesis in the Bible. My life, like the world, began in darkness, and the darkness that was my home was filled with a roaring tempest of emotional turmoil. I will not proclaim to have had the worst childhood imaginable, for such a statement would do injustice to all who have grown up in the third world, all who have suffered abuse and all who have been raised as orphans. No, my childhood did not see abject poverty, epidemic or civil war, but it did bear witness to one of the most understated and misunderstood blights upon modern day society; domestic violence.

I grew up not knowing my real father, and instead I went for my earliest years being raised by my mother, who in her younger years was a neurotic, alcoholic, depressive drug addict with a draw to less-than-gallant men. one of my earliest memories is of my uncle collecting me from our home after a neighbour called to report that I had been left unattended for hours as my mother had fell unconscious. From an early age I witnessed drug dealing, animal cruelty and physical and verbal abuse, though always as a frightened observer. I was raised with the values of my grandfather's generation and learned early that to hunt and kill an animal was necessary for survival and was part of the natural order. But as I grew up I came to realise that this was wrong of course, and only applies in situations where one is lost alone in the wilderness with no contact to civilisation; a realisation which only added to the depth of my self-hatred. After some years of constant emotional torment from a string of different men, my mother finally moved away with me to start a new life in a new town, but due to her own childhood traumas she could not help but attract all of the wrong people, and frequently found herself in relationships with more violent men and drug addicts, from which I witnessed more depravity. During my teenage years I enjoyed a brief period of security after my mother married a kind and respectable working man, but the marriage eventually broke down due to her alcoholism and refusal to cut ties with her old bag-head buddies. A year after their divorce I nearly lost my life whilst trying to defend her and my half-brother from her latest psychotic and murderous boyfriend. This resulted in me being sent to stay with a legal guardian, who proved very difficult to live with. What didn’t help was that my mother chose to take her murderous boyfriend back after he returned from prison, and after I had already moved back in to her home to find some semblance of comfort in my own space in which to thik and come to terms with everything that had happened, space which I lacked in my temporary home. This of course was the cause of numerous arguments between myself and my mother which often ended with us physically fighting each other, and on one occasion with me restraining her from trying to stab me with a kitchen knife. I began to slide into depression and suicidal tendencies, damaging relations with family and friends; I needed to get away. Needless to say I moved out at the first opportunity to live with my partner and her family.

Now, I don’t want to depress anyone, for I have emerged from the stormy waters of my early years with a resilience which most of my friends could never have gained from their calm and sheltered upbringings; and I am now grateful for every heart breaking memory that I have, for they have made me stronger. And in the same way that God said “Let there be Light, and there was Light”, I found the light of my life in my partner who has saved me from those painful recollections as well as from myself on a number of occasions. However, while I endeavour to remain as positive as one can possibly be regarding this subject, I must confess at this early stage that I am far from unscathed by the traumas of my youth. I, like so many people around the world, suffer from a number of deeply rooted emotional issues ranging from anxiety to low self-esteem, bouts of deep depression and most devastatingly…anger management problems. It is said that violence begets more violence; well in this instance it is true, for I have as much control over my emotions as a hamster has control of a runaway freight train. At any moment in time, with the minutest push of the wrong button, I could come off the rails and potentially destroy everything in my path. In recent years I have been able to quell the flames inside of me to some extent, with the eventual stabilisation in my hormone levels and entering into a steady relationship with someone patient and understanding. But I still find myself quick to anger, and occasionally I become Mount Vesuvius and erupt with pent up rage and frustration. The most recent occasion, and the one that has finally convinced me that something must be done, occurred when I was 21.

I shared an apartment with my partner and a friend from college, as well as a number of furry quadrupeds. One of these said quadrupeds of the canine variety had a rather tense and distrusting relationship with my old college buddy, and they were often at odds over small and insignificant things such as the ownership of empty chocolate wrappers, or the liberty of the four-legged one to move from one room to the next. On this occasion I had, up until the evening, had a good day and I was happy. However, within a matter of minutes my mood went from the top of mount Olympus to the darkest depths of Tartarus, seemingly without any provocation. I retired to my room to brood in an attempt to shake off the melancholy, but after a short while I heard the familiar sound of war brewing in the living room. Taking my proverbial sword in hand I marched headlong into the fray and instantly ended the conflict while inadvertently starting one of my own. I did not realise that as I entered the room I demanded, apparently in a less than polite tone, to know why my flatmate was pestering the dog to the point of receiving aggression. When he responded with what appeared to me to be belligerence, my already low mood began to boil. It only took a few seconds for my tone to rise and for his to follow before we came to blows, physically. From then on I could not stop the tirade of verbal abuse and aggressive posturing, frightening him into submission (I’m 6’ 4” compared to his 5’ 6”, so it’s not surprising), and before I knew what had happened he had donned his jacket and left the building. It was in the quiet aftermath of this short-lived battle that I had time to think about what I had said to him, and it struck me how I had spoken to him like a delinquent child, referring to him as “boy” and telling him that he needed to “grow the f**k up and learn from [his] mistakes”. I knew then that I had been the biggest hypocrite in the world, for it was not he who needed to grow up, it was me, still trapped in a pit of rage that was dug twenty years ago; and if anyone needed to learn from their mistakes, it was me. I had already driven one of my old friends away some years before, and had a less than loving relationship with my parents, all because I could not take the reins of my own chariot before I crashed and burned.

The answer to my problems seems obvious, does it not? "Get some help! See a psychiatrist or something." But on that score I am way ahead, for I have already received "counselling" while in secondary school. This feeble attempt at curing my affliction consisted of one hour a week, sitting in a cold, plain white room with a woman who to my mind was utterly unqualified in child therapy, talking idly about why I can't concentrate in classes and why I headbutted a boy in the lunch line the week before. The conclusion drawn from those exhaustive sessions was thus: low self esteem. According to a psychiatric professional my short attention span, anxiety, migraines, flashbacks and propensity for violent outbursts were all due to the fact that I was shy, introverted and a loner who had a low opinion of myself, resulting in emotional stress which manifested through the above outlined symptoms. If anything my shyness and lack of friends were symptomatic of a deeper cause, a fact which I attempted to make her aware of but to no avail. From then on I came to the conclusion that conventional therapy from so-called professionals was not going to help me, especially since the whole saga had simply given me one more thing to be angry about. How could she think that it was my fault? I wasn't angry because I was lonely, I was lonely because I was angry, and I was only angry because I had accumulated a decade and a half of more than adequate reasons to be.

It was my loving wife who suggested, over a year ago now, that I write this blog to document the journey to understanding myself, the root of my emotional issues and the myriad causes of emotional instability of people in general. I have always been a deep thinker and thus inclined to explore the hidden and mysterious realms of spirituality, and it is through these realms, as well as those of mainstream psychology, biochemistry, physics, neuroscience and alchemy that I intend to travel in my quest to better understand the reasons why we feel negative emotions, and try different ways to treat the symptoms and heal the root causes of these emotional and spiritual afflictions. I will be exploring a range of therapies, including meditation, breathing exercises, Tai Chi, Yoga, crystal healing, sound therapy, Chakra healing, past life regression, soul retrieval and many more. It is my hope that by doing so I will be a few steps closer to being the man I want to be, and perhaps be a help or inspiration to others who feel the same way that I do. My aim is to heal the world, but first I must heal myself, for as Rumi said, “When your inner world comes into order, so too does your outer world come into order.” Until my next installment, I wish you peace, love and illumination wherever you may be. Namaste.

Enki Endymion. O(

The Other 96% - Introduction to Non-ordinary Reality

"Those who do not believe in magic will never find it." - Walt Disney

I believe the above statement to be true, albeit a subjective truth for it is only my opinion and thus true only to me based on my own experiences. However I feel that the quote should continue to say that for those who are willing to perceive before they believe, magic will find them. Magic certainly found me.

I have long struggled with my beliefs, questioning my own intelligence for being open to such ideas as ghosts, angels and other worlds; even going so far as to question my sanity, for surely others must do so when they learn that I see things that others do not. But time has served in dispelling such self-defeating notions, and as I have grown into an independent adult I have felt my beliefs grow and strengthen in kind. As a baby I would stare at a blank space in the corner of the room and laugh; at what, my mother could never tell, but I knew for I could see it. In my early school years I saw people walking through my parents house who I knew had lived there far longer than we had. I knew that the trees could communicate with one another, and that I could communicate with animals from dogs to birds. Something in my heart told me that we were all connected to each other, "in a circle, in a hoop that never ends" and that sound and motion was far surpassed as a form of communication by what I shared with those other living beings. But it took many years to understand what it was that we did share. The universal picture in my mind became more complicated during my mid to late teens with my first experiences of hostile apparitions; the nightmares began, vivid and terrifying to the degree of persisting after I had jumped from my bed and turned on the light. Dark shadows would skitter across a well lit room, and eventually they became so real that they threw me across the living room, and on another occasion backwards down a flight of stairs. My experiences of spirits and other energetic phenomena have strengthened my conviction that they are real; so if spirits are real then what else might exist beyond the borders of our ordinary reality.

Despite my telepathic link to the local wildlife, I was a child who was grounded in the physical world. I loved natural sciences; I loved reading encyclopedias to learn about volcanoes and tornadoes, tectonic plates and the water cycle, evolution and habitats. I wanted to be a paleontologist because of my obsession with dinosaurs, or to explore the stars and planets through my telescope. My love of science began to move to deeper levels as I got older and I found myself enthralled by subatomic particle physics and quantum mechanics. It was at this time when I read that humanity has come to understand only 4% of the universe in which we live, and that we perceive only 1% of the electromagnetic and acoustic spectra by which it is measured. So 3/4 of what we know of our universe is beyond the limits of our natural perception? I also read that time as a human construct is only linear because we perceive it that way, and that existence without time is happening all at once, the past, present and future occurring simultaneously. I found all of this utterly amazing, for it opened up a whole new way of thinking about who, what and where I was in this infinitely vast and ever expanding cosmos. The strange experiences I had had up to that point in time didn't seem so strange to me anymore, because maybe the people I had seen in our house were just existing in another time which I could somehow glimpse due to some quantum "screw-up" disrupting the continuum of space-time? And maybe the connection I had with the animals was due to some kind of interaction between my electromagnetic field and theirs resulting in subtle changes in my brain waves? But the thing that really wowed me and forced me to rethink what I had come to know so far: the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle, that which suggests that the physical world only exists when you are observing it.

The old question, "If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?" began to make so much more sense to me, for if there was no one near enough to hear the tree fall then the real question becomes "was the tree even there in the first place?". This led me down the rabbit hole of Mind-Over-Matter Theory and Multiverse Theory and Chaos theory and so many other mind bending theories laid down by some of the most enlightened minds of our age; and the further down the rabbit hole I ventured, the more I began to believe that my previous experiences were due to so much more than simply bio-electricity and magnetism. It all culminated in my introduction to the Unified Field theory proposed by Einstein, the suggestion of a source of pure energy created by combining or unifying the four types of gravitational energy. This source of energy is thought to transcend all physical laws and move outside of three dimensional space-time, existing in every possible location at every possible moment in a state of ultimate superposition and thus existing within, around and beyond absolutely everything that has existed or ever will exist. This sounded remarkably like how God is described in each of the holy scriptures. This was my first step into the realm of spirituality and religion, where I would hang perpetually between it and the realm of conventional scientific rationalism, even to this day. As a result I have developed a system of belief premised primarily on faith rather than empirical evidence, but with application of scientific reasoning to attempt to adequately explain the phenomena that I experience. I do not attempt to diminish the experiences by explaining them away with logic and rationality, but instead attempt to combine scientific theory and spirituality to explore the other 96% of the physical universe in order to better contemplate that which may lie beyond it.

I believe that the other 96% of the universe, that which we cannot perceive with our senses nor measure with our limited array of instruments, is where all paranormal phenomena comes from; ghosts as either glimpses of living people across non-linear time, or as traces of subtle energy made manifest under certain environmental conditions; angels and demons as powerful waves of energy as yet unknown to science and guided by disembodied consciousness; apparitions of other worlds under the influence of psychotropic substances due to a shift in brain activity to allow us to perceive higher or lower frequencies of vibration... All of these things can exist if we simply accept the fact that we know next to nothing about our world or the way it works. In later articles I will delve into the various aspects of magic, or Magick as I prefer to spell it, mythology, otherworldly creatures, religious doctrine, the nature of the soul, reincarnation and other spiritual experiences, much of which I have experienced first hand. I will also discuss the amazing capabilities of the human mind and body and the innate potential for real practical Magick in every person. But for now I must retire, for the hour is late and tomorrow promises to be a full day. Best Wishes to all. Namaste.

Enki Endymion.

The Author's Voice

Hello fellow wanderers, welcome to my blog. For anyone interested in the content of my articles, it may be worth my explaining a few things about myself, my beliefs, my experience etc. just to add a bit of context behind my posts.

First and foremost, I AM a thinking, feeling, flesh and blood human being from the North West of England. I have a somewhat complex personality with many different sides; as Plato would have termed it, I am somewhere between an Octohedron and an Icosahedron. I read a wonderful article some time ago which discusses this very concept; you can find it here: http://thespiritscience.net/2014/06/24/the-sacred-geometry-of-personality-thought-and-feeling/
and I definitely recommend reading the Spirit Science articles and also checking out the Youtube channel.

Moving on, I AM a deeply spiritual person, though my love of the physical Universe and everything within it has led me to have a profound interest in groundbreaking science, particularly in the field of theoretical quantum physics. I operate in a my own sphere of existence based upon a "mind over matter" philosophy; anything that we can imagine is possible, and no problem or obstacle is too great to overcome, no dream to grand to pursue. I believe that if we can dream it, we can do it. Some might say that this is naive, maybe even childish, but when this philosophy is applied with a strong will, a sharp focus and a true heart, magick happens. I, along with my wife and close friends, am a practitioner of magick in the classical sense. I intend to write in depth about what magick is and how it works so please stay tuned. Suffice to say that ever since I opened my heart and mind to the impossible, everything I have ever asked for from the Universe has been granted to me by divine providence.

I have experienced great pain and sorrow through my life, but from the hardships I have learned resilience, and more importantly compassion. Alongside my scars I also bare great love of all living things, people, animals, birds, fish, trees, flowers, rocks and crystals; even the invisible, microscopic beings which stow away in my body and cause me illness, for they all serve a purpose, they all operate within their own version of consciousness and strive to be something greater that what they are. It is my belief that humanity as a species has so much to learn from the smallest forms of life, those things which we deem to be inferior to ourselves, for we too must strive to be better; that does not mean that we should strive for more resources to exploit, or more land to own, or more trophies to collect for our personal aggrandisement, but we should strive to expand our understanding of the world in which we live by integrating with it, becoming one with the Earth instead of pulling her apart. Many of the ills of the world are propagated by humanity's lack of understanding of the sacred and fragile nature of which we are a part, and I believe that by helping people to look at the minutest details, the everyday things we miss and overlook, to help people to appreciate the wonder and beauty of the world, that I might contribute to an evolutionary step forward towards a brighter and more peaceful future. People need to remember how special the world is, how special they are, remember our true purpose in this world, to return to the role which we originally played before we lost our way, our role as the caretakers of Eden, the children of the Gods and thereby Gods in our own right. To do this, the rift between the worlds of science and spirituality must be healed, their differences reconciled, and those elements of each which do not serve to consolidate our peaceful co-existence with all other life must be stripped away and cast off with the fetters of ignorance and fear into the mists of history. That is what this blog is about; that is what I AM about.

I hope that you will join me in my quest, and that you will find something within my words which resonates with your soul, something which confirms in your heart and mind that which you have always wondered but never put your finger on. I hope that you find my articles informative, enriching, life affirming, consoling, mind-expanding, or even just an enjoyable read. Whatever you glean from them, I wish you luck and safety on all of your wanderings, wherever your life path takes you. Peace and Love to all. Namaste.

Enki Endymion.